S03 Episode 1
Death of a Propane Salesman
Hank and Luanne survive the Mega Lo Mart explosion, but Buckley is no more. Hank finds that he is scared of propane, and tries to figure out how to deal with his fear of dying. Meanwhile, Luanne, who lost all her hair in the explosion, decides to become an activist like Sinead O'Connor.
Tue, 15 Sep 1998
S03 Episode 2
And They Call It Bobby Love
Bobby starts dating Marie, a girl who's two years older than him. Bobby takes the relationship more seriously than Marie does, and is heartbroken when she dances with other guys. Marie decides to "move on" leaving Bobby an emotional wreck. Meanwhile, Hank and the guys find an abandoned couch in the alley, and grow to depend on it.
Tue, 22 Sep 1998
S03 Episode 3
Peggy's Headache
When Peggy starts writing "musings" for the local newspaper, the pressure gives her a headache, so she goes to John Redcorn for a theraputic massage. When she finds out that Dale's wife Nancy is having an affair with John Redcorn, she is so horrified that she decides to tell Dale about it.
Tue, 6 Oct 1998
S03 Episode 4
Pregnant Paws
Hank wants to breed Ladybird, but the veterinarian says that she has a narrow uterus and probably can't have children. Hank becomes obsessed with finding a way to get Ladybird pregnant, which annoys Peggy, because she's the one who really wants another baby. Meanwhile, Dale becomes a bounty hunter and is assigned to hunt down a man with several unpaid parking tickets. He decides that he needs a hound to accompany him on his first bounty, so he nabs Ladybird, to Hank's horror.
Tue, 13 Oct 1998
S03 Episode 5
Next of Shin
Hank tries several different methods to improve his sperm count so he can get Peggy pregnant. The frustration of not being able to have another child becomes worse when Cotton shows up and announces that he got his wife pregnant. But Cotton becomes so nervous at the prospect of having a baby at his age that he flees to Las Vegas, and Hank, Bill and Dale go after him.
Tue, 3 Nov 1998
S03 Episode 6
Peggy's Pageant Fever
A beauty pageant offers Peggy the chance to win a truck. If she can endure a series of rigorous makeovers to impress the judges.
Tue, 10 Nov 1998
S03 Episode 7
Nine Pretty Darn Angry Men
After a Thanksgiving dinner where Cotton constantly insults Hank's mother, Hank, his neighbors, and his father attend a lawn mower focus group. The company announces that it is retiring its old model and introducing a new, "yuppified" version. Hank is the only one on the group who defends the old mower -- but is he trying to defend the mower, or his mother?
Tue, 17 Nov 1998
S03 Episode 8
Good Hill Hunting
All the kids in the neighborhood are going on their first hunt, but Hank is unable to get a hunting license for him and Bobby. Bobby is so upset about being denied the chance at a rite of passage that he starts to regress into acting like a little kid. Hank reluctantly decides to take Bobby hunting at the La Grunta Resort.
Tue, 1 Dec 1998
S03 Episode 9
Pretty, Pretty Dresses
At Christmastime, Bill becomes even more depressed than usual, because it's the anniversary of when his wife Lenore left him. Bill tries to commit suicide, and when that doesn't work out, he dresses up in Lenore's old clothes and declares that he is Lenore.
Tue, 15 Dec 1998
S03 Episode 10
A Firefighting We Will Go
Hank and his friends become volunteer firefighters. They manage to wreck a fire hydrant, ruin a funeral, and finally burn down the Arlen firehouse. When the Fire Captain comes to ask what happened, the trio turns the story around to match each of their scenarios.
Tue, 12 Jan 1999
S03 Episode 11
To Spank, with Love
After being taunted and pantsed by one of her students, Peggy loses it and spanks him. She is immediately fired, but Cotton and his old buddies start a campaign to get "Paddlin' Peggy" reinstated. Once she is back teaching, Peggy uses her reputation for violence to scare her students, and takes things too far, in true Peggy fashion.
Tue, 19 Jan 1999
S03 Episode 12
Three Coaches and a Bobby
Hank gets his tough old football coach to lead Bobby's football team. When the coach proves to be a tyrant, Bobby decides to quit football and join the soccer team, much to Hank's disappointment. Meanwhile, Peggy tries to fit in with the other soccer moms, and takes a crash course from Minh on Soccer-mom etiquette.
Tue, 26 Jan 1999
S03 Episode 13
De-Kahnstructing Henry
Kahn gets a great new job and invites Hank over to the office, hoping to make him jealous. While bragging about his job, Kahn gives away government secrets, swearing Hank to secrecy. Hank talks to Bill about Kahn's job, and Kahn gets fired for it.
Tue, 2 Feb 1999
S03 Episode 14
The Wedding of Bobby Hill
Bobby lets Luanne's new boyfriend, a self-proclaimed genius named Rad Thibodeaux, throw a wild party in Boomhauer's house. Luanne tells on him and gets him removed as Boomhauer's house-sitter, Bobby starts a prank war with Luanne. Bobby replaces Luanne's birth-control pills with sweet tarts, she convinces him that the trick has gotten her pregnant. To teach Bobby about taking responsibility for his actions, Hank and Peggy tell him that he'll have to marry Luanne.
Tue, 9 Feb 1999
S03 Episode 15
Sleight of Hank
Hank and Peggy go to a magic show where Peggy gets to be the volunteer in the best trick. Hank tries to figure out how the trick was done, and Peggy won't tell him. Meanwhile, Bobby is looking for a way to liven up his Sunday School report on Jesus, and when he sees the magician, he incorporates some of the tricks and patter into the report, calling it "The Amazing Jesus."
Tue, 16 Feb 1999
S03 Episode 16
Jon Vitti Presents: "Return to La Grunta"
Hank gets Luanne a job as a golf course drink girl at the La Grunta resort. In gratitude, Luanne gets Hank a chance to swim with a dolphin. Hank pets the dolphin, and the dolphin becomes aroused and tries to become sexually intimate with him. In return for his silence, the hotel pays him off, and Hank tells Luanne never to talk about what happened. Luanne gets sexually harassed by one of the golfers, she decides to follow Hank's example and not talk about it.
Tue, 23 Feb 1999
S03 Episode 17
Escape from Party Island
Hank takes his mother and her friends to a museum of miniatures in Port Aransas, and they get stuck in the middle of MTV's Spring Break. Meanwhile, Bill tries to put the moves on Peggy while Hank is away.
Tue, 16 Mar 1999
S03 Episode 18
Love Hurts... and So Does Art
Worried at the prospect of going to a school dance with Connie, Bobby starts overeating at the local deli, and develops gout. Meanwhile, Hank goes to an art gallery in Dallas and finds that they are displaying an X-ray of his constipated colon.
Tue, 23 Mar 1999
S03 Episode 19
Hank’s Cowboy Movie
When Hank takes Bobby to the Dallas Cowboys training camp in Wichita Falls, Bobby says he likes Wichita Falls better than Arlen. Fearing that Bobby will leave Arlen when he grows up, Hank decides to make a video to convince the Cowboys to move their training camp to Arlen.
Tue, 6 Apr 1999
S03 Episode 20
Dog Dale Afternoon
When Dale brings home a new 'Super Mower' the neighbors are jealous, but his attitude leaves everyone with a bad taste in their mouths. To knock him down a few notches, the crew decides to hide his new mower, & make it look like a conspiracy, Peggy gets involved and it goes too far. Dale gets pushed over the edge & it is Hank that goes to help him back down.
Tue, 13 Apr 1999
S03 Episode 21
Revenge of the Lutefisk
Arlen's new minister is a woman, which everyone except Cotton seems to accept. When Bobby eats all of a Midwestern fish dish prepared by the minister, it somehow leads to him accidentally burning down the church. Everyone assumes that Cotton did it, and he is arrested for a hate crime.
Tue, 20 Apr 1999
S03 Episode 22
Death and Texas
Peggy gets a letter from a Death Row convict who says that he is a former student of hers, and that she had the most positive impact on his life. She starts visiting him in prison and bringing him what she thinks is timer sand for Boggle -- not realizing that it's actually cocaine. Meanwhile, Dale wants to become an executioner.
Tue, 27 Apr 1999
S03 Episode 23
Wings of the Dope
While studying for her beauty school exam, Luanne sees someone bouncing on Buckley's old trampoline. It's Buckley, who has come back as an angel. Hank and Peggy think Luanne was hallucinating after using too many hair-dying chemicals, but Hank's friends come to believe in the existence of Buckley's Angel. But Luanne finds that Buckley isn't much more help to her as an angel than he was when he was alive.
Tue, 4 May 1999
S03 Episode 24
Take Me Out of the Ball Game
When Thaterton stacks his Company softball team with Pro sports stars, Hank pulls Peggy off of her own Softball team to become the Ace pitcher for Strickland Propane. Unfortunately, Hank's over-managing causes her to lose her stuff, and cause her to lose the love for the sport.
Tue, 11 May 1999
S03 Episode 25
As Old as the Hills
Peggy and Hank's 20th-anniversary party leaves the missus missing their youth; and a bottle of tequila is the highlight of their private revelry.
Tue, 18 May 1999
